Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
