Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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