So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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