I must be too annoying 4 u.
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
