Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
