I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
