i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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