That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
