That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
