a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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