He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
