Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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