Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
