i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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