Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
