I wish I only lived at night.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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