it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
