worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
