Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
