I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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