I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
