Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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