i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
