i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Barsexuality is the new black.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
