Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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