Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
