I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
