just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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