I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You pole danced in your parka.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
