If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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