I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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