brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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