everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
