My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
