Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
