week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
