im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
