Fine. I'll sleep in my office
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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