they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
