haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
