Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
