i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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