I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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