do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
