I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
