so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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