It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
