The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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