bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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