need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your tits are I can't wait for
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
