I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My pussy is not your playground.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
