Screwed.edu
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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