Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
