Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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