dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
