i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
