Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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