is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize