ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
