just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
