I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize