so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
