What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
